“The divided heart doesn’t know whether to break or mend” is a projection of my uncertainties about my (and humanity’s) future during the early stages of a midlife crisis between 2022 and 2023.
Emotionally divided about where and what I was supposed to be doing with my life, I found myself walking along the service roads of the Decarie Expressway trench highway I lived directly next to in Montreal’s west end.
Frustrated and suffocated in my thoughts, I wandered the noisy sidewalks from one end of the highway to the other between the southern and northern interchanges, thinking about the social and engineering problems in the area, which ranged from gentrification, poor city planning, decaying infrastructure, air pollution and no access to green spaces.
I didn’t realize at first that I was photographing my inner claustrophobic state of mind, in which I felt trapped by every aspect of the life I had built up for myself (or had been burdened with) until that point.
Using the natural (or somewhat unnatural) scarring divide in what used to be a prosperous Boulevard lined with streetcars and local businesses, I observed how much this manmade rift had severed the entire accessibility, community and history of the neighbourhoods it severed.
While doing the work, the images highlight my feelings of inadequacy, fragility, insecurity, and vulnerability within myself and my urban/societal surroundings while aiming to connect my inner and outer worlds.
A year later, the work feels more relevant as Canada goes through a housing crisis, high living costs, a failing healthcare system, a homelessness epidemic, opioid crises, and a divided nation on critical issues.
If anything, I aspire that the work acts as a gateway to meaningful conversations about the state of my homeland and one’s mental health during a time when we must not give in to nihilism and instead put the work in to create the changes we want to see.